Tuesday thoughts (aka word vomit)

I came across this post on Facebook last night that really put some things into perspective for me. Isn't that the way sometimes with those viral posts? I've been feeling pretty tired the last week. Lucy has had a cold for a couple of weeks, and both girls have been waking up at ungodly hours leaving me with very little morning alone time to recharge my batteries. It's been getting darker, and chillier outside. I've been neglecting housework and meal prep and staying up too late reading. I spent the last week burning the candle on both ends. I mentioned last week that I was simultaneously wanting a weekend away with Brian and a weekend alone in my house to clean. But the truth of it is, when I'm away from the girls, I miss them a lot too and I do want to be with them.

The post I read last night was a gentle reminder that it's OK to feel like motherhood is hard sometimes. Because it is. No one would say that it is easy. It's a transition to a level of selflessness that was not required of me before I had kids. With two kids, my time for myself is spread even thinner. When I look at how much our girls have grown though, I try to remember that these busy days of messy floors, board books on repeat and towers out of blocks are fleeting.

At yoga class last night, I yawned through the entire session. Exercise can have this effect on the body anyway, and I've learned to accept it, but when I came home, I felt invigorated, rested, and rejuvenated. The simple act of letting all of my thoughts and worries slip away for 90 minutes has profoundly affected my ability to cope with the busyness of life, and I think I am forever a yoga convert. I missed the class last week and I honestly believe it is one of the reasons why I felt so overwhelmed all week long.

So today I am gently reminding myself to rest if I need to. To take a few minutes to check in with myself and take some deep breaths. I am grateful to be finished The Husband's Secret (more on that next week!) so that I can sleep peacefully tonight & not stay up reading way past my bedtime ;)

I'm definitely experiencing # 2 this morning.

Anyway, that's what is on my mind today. :)

Tuesday's Tot Talks: Toddler Schemas

At this time when I am facing more time with a 2 1/2 year old than I've ever spent in my life, I am trying to find creative ways to keep her entertained and keep my own sanity as well. Molly is very well behaved and very independent, and we don't have too many behaviour problems with her (knock on wood). She is adapting very well to having Lucy at home and to being at home with me - but I think this is still the "honeymoon" period. I am SO grateful that the weather is starting to improve because we can get outside for walks/picnics/playground dates/beach time (in the summer) etc. etc. In my experience, a kid who is outside is a happy kid. (Or maybe that's just my kid, but it seems pretty true overall).

At a petting zoo last fall

I came across an article awhile ago (that I can't find again) which referenced toddler schemas. A schema is a pattern of behaviour, and the article basically suggested that if you can find out what your toddler's schema is and support it, you will have an easier time helping them learn and keeping them entertained. These articles talk about this idea more:

Schemas and play
Toddler Schemas
Tinkergarten
Via Pinterest
The Urge to Play

Basically, the way I see this, Molly LOVES to collect things into a box/bucket/cart and cart them around with her. She is also absolutely and completely obsessed with this matching game that my in-laws got her for Christmas, which made me think about her schema this week. Molly will literally play the "bear game" all day long from the moment she wakes up until bedtime...but unfortunately, she still wants to play it with someone else (which is fine, but I am a bit sick of it ;)). I have never seen her play with a toy more than this one...so I am thinking of making her some similar flash cards to match up with different animals or shapes or something.

She loves puzzles too. She is a little bit of a climber, but nothing TOO major. She also really enjoys playing with playdough and helping me bake - so I think she is creative in that sense. I'd say Molly's top 3 schemas that she uses the most are containment, positioning and trajectory.

Do you see your child following any schemas? Do you like following this concept to support your child's learning? Any tips for entertaining my little 2 year old all year?? :)

I'm working on Lucy's birth story for next Tuesday but I'll be back once or twice this week with some other posts too :) I am finding myself on Pinterest a lot more now that I am back to night feeding sessions and I'm still keeping up with blogs on Bloglovin' but not finding quite as much time to comment. I'm trying to keep up with those who comment on my own blog though!!

Tuesday's Tot Talks: The hospital bag & Labour playlist

A few weeks ago, I packed (most of) our hospital bag to take to the IWK with us whenever I go into labour. I have to admit, I really do not enjoy this task. It is like packing for a vacation that you don't know when you're going to take (and it's not the most relaxing vacation although it IS amazing and worth it!). I hate that you can't pack everything at once, and you can't (in my opinion/experience) leave all the packing until you are in labour either (especially with a second child). For instance, I am going to need my contacts & glasses...but I use those every day, so I can't really pack them! I also want to bring my pillow from home, but I use that every night. Same goes for the camera which we use... Etc etc.

Anyway, my solution to this problem has been to pack everything I don't use regularly and have a list on my phone of things that need to be packed when it's go-time. When I had Molly, we were in the hospital for almost a week from start to finish, so Brian came home once or twice to pick up a few extra necessities that we had either run out of, or didn't think to bring. I think he will come home once or twice this time around too, just to see Molly or shower at home or something.

I also wanted to mention that I downloaded a great app to time contractions and keep track of them for me - there are hundreds of them for iPhone and Android...it is so nice to be able to see if your contractions are getting closer together and to share this with your nurse or admitting doctor.

1) All toiletries (shampoo, body wash, etc) and I am also bringing make-up and hair products so that I feel like myself after a grueling experience, heavy sanitary pads although they are often supplied
2) Loose-fitting clothing and PJs (yoga pants/sweat pants/maternity clothes), shirts that are easy to breastfeed with, a sweater, nursing bras, loose-fitting underwear, socks, slippers, hubby clothing
3) Your own pillow or whatever you require to sleep well (I am bringing ear plugs too in case there is a lot of noise in the hospital), I am also bringing a microwaveable heating pad that helps me sleep & an extra blanket because I froze in the hospital last time
4) Cell phone and charger (and small speaker if you want to listen to music during labour - see below)
5) Camera
6) Breastfeeding supplies (I have a cover and a nursing pillow, both of which are coming)
7) Hand lotion and chapstick
8) Diapers and sleepers for the baby (required at our hospital) as well as as a "going home" outfit, soother for the baby if you want one, diaper cream if required
9) Baby carseat and blankets
10) Laptop or tablet...you will have SOME downtime unless you have thousands of visitors
11) Snacks for yourself or hubby - our hospital is great with the food but sometimes you just need something quickly
12) Water bottle
13) Some cash for purchases from hospital Tim Horton's etc (unnecessary but we will probably have some on hand)

If you ever read Molly's birth story, you know I was in labour for days, but I am hoping that it goes smoother this time around. I have started making some playlists of songs I want to listen to possibly when I'm in labour or if I need an extra boost during labour. There are many researched benefits to listening to music while in labour, but I didn't do it AT ALL with my first labour, and I don't know why.  I also have a playlist to listen to in the hospital with headphones if I need it to get to sleep or I want to relax etc. Some of this music is the kind of thing that most people wouldn't really listen to in this situation, but everyone has their own musical tastes, right? :)

Here's some of my happy playlist if I need it during labour (this is mostly just familiar music or what I've been listening to lately): - I will likely add more fiddle music to this one :)

Here's the "I need more energy, pump it up!" labour playlist (I need to add to this from workout music in my iTunes):

Why don't they make these kinds of playlists on Songza, anyway? ;)

Any recommendations for me?? 

Homemade toys for kids (Tuesday's Tot Talks)

Happy Pancake Tuesday, everyone!! We are having pancakes, bacon and sausages for supper tonight with some fruit salad! I have been craaaaaaving fruit salad lately (Not the worst thing, really!) so I can't wait to have some of that with supper. We're having my in-laws over and it will be fun! I often try to give something up for Lent, or take something on. This year, I am not giving anything up (because it is going to be a bit of a weird Lent with having a baby right smack in the middle of it all) but I have thought a little bit about taking something on. My "thing to improve upon" is to stop keeping a tally in our marriage. I read this article yesterday and thought, hmm...we are happy, sure, but I definitely "keep track" of certain things without really intending to, and there's really no need for that. I know that I am really going to be needing Brian's help in the next 6ish weeks, so I need to trust that he is going to be able to help me without me nagging him to do so constantly.

And now, onto the fun stuff!!! I have been planning this post for awhile, and I debated splitting it up with tutorials for each toy, but I might do that another time if anyone is interested. As I've mentioned before, my lovely husband (the structural engineer) has enjoyed making toys for Molly since she was about a year old. Most of these projects have started off with something I saw on Pinterest and mentioned to him. Usually, I ahd planned to attack the projects mostly on my own, but he is just much more skilled at "building" so he has taken over a bit, and he has loved it.

Here are a few of the fun things Brian has made for Molly, with some links to tutorials we used for more information.

1) Cardboard mailbox covered in duct tape

I originally saw a cardboard mailbox idea on Pinterest with a link here and thought it would be fun for Molly to play with. Brian took it to the next level and bought different kinds of duct tape and velcro tape to seal the bottom flap. Molly still plays with this after a year and a half, and every kid who comes to our house plays with it too. The best part is that it cost us almost nothing to make, and that you can "mail" anything you want!!

Check out some other great ideas for things to make with cardboard boxes HERE, HERE and HERE. The possibilities are endless, really! I especially like the cardboard slide on the stairs on this site...I think Brian would like it as much as Molly ;)

2) Play kitchen from old cabinets

Fridge/freezer, sink, stove and oven

The stove and the oven - the stove portion was from another electronic stove toy, and was re-wired to work with this (obviously I had nothing to do with that aspect of it)

In my mind, a play kitchen is a prime toy for a toddler, and almost every "play place" that you go to will have one. It makes sense - if Mommy spends a lot of time in the kitchen (which many mommies do!), kids will want to do that too! We found these cabinets on the side of the road between our house and Brian's parents' house with a "free" sign on it. They were brand new, and I guess they just didn't fit in the person's renovations. We bought the tap and countertop for less than $10 at a great store with used home items, Restore (items donated to the store; all proceeds to Habit for Humanity) and the sink is a mixing bowl. The stove part is from a little stovetop bought at a Garage sale, and it lights up when the burners are turned on (so that you know that the burners are hot!). The oven has a cookie rack shelf and is spray painted metallic grey. Molly plays with this all the time now, but it took her a little while to get into it.

Here's a different tutorial for a DIY play kitchen (There are TONS on Pinterest too if you have a spare shelf etc!)

3) Barn for her 2nd birthday party (which I decided would be a farm theme 1 week beforehand)

It actually lived in our living room for about a month and now it is folded up in the basement

I decided to do a theme party for Molly's 2nd birthday about 5-6 days before her party. I saw this on a blog HERE and asked Brian if he thought he could make it for the kids to play in during the party. He exceeded my expectations, yet again!! Molly was over the moon excited when we brought this upstairs and showed her. She played in it and peeked out the window for days. She brought everything she owned in it. Brian made this from flattened cardboard boxes that were reinforced with more boxes (Very engineer-y of him). It is in two parts so that it can fit through doorways (the bottom part folds, and the roof turns sideways :)). We covered it with fabric and stapled the fabric to the cardboard. I wouldn't call it overly sturdy, but we kept it anyway because Molly loved it so much and might get use out of it as a playhouse again sometime (for now, it is in storage because there wasn't enough room in our living room to house it!)

Some cardboard barn/farm party tutorials from Pinterest are here and here.

4) Chalkboard easel

We decided that an easel would make a good Christmas present this year, and as soon as I suggested it, Brian said "I'll make one!" This one turned out to be a bit bigger than expected, but it's great. It is basically 2 sheets of MDF painted with chalkboard paint and a wooden frame. The only real regret I have with it is that it is really tall, so Molly can't reach the top, but maybe that means she will be able to enjoy it for longer. I also sometimes wish it was magnetic. She loves it and it's great for teaching letters and numbers :)

5) Stationary tricycle

Brian whipped this up in about an hour. It is just a very simple wooden frame, and the trike is completely removable from it. We obviously already owned the tricycle, and it is still a little bit too big for Molly so she hasn't gotten a lot of use out of it yet, but I'm hoping it will encourage her to stay off our exercise bike (which is WAY too big for her and a bit dangerous to climb on).

Some of my future ideas include a DIY dollhouse out of a bookshelf/cabinet (this one might not happen, LOTS of work), rain gutter bookshelves on the wall or on the side of a dresser (I am working to get Brian on board with this), a quiet book, and a tent for Molly's room or for a slumber party someday!

If anyone wants more information on how to make any of these items, just let me know!! I just wanted to share them today, but I didn't go into very much detail on some of the items.

Happy Shrove/Fat/Pancake Tuesday and see ya tomorrow! ;)

Favourite baby/toddler books (Tuesday's Tot Talks)

Hi everyone!

I have a bit of a fun topic to share on the blog today for Tuesday's tot talks...and I've been meaning to share this for awhile! We have a very LARGE collection of board books for babies and toddlers. Molly absolutely loves to read. I would say we read at least 5 books to her every day, and that's only seeing her for a few hours...on weekends it is probably more like 30 books a day. She also likes to read to herself now, and sit in a little chair and read to her animals (cutest thing ever). Here she is reading some books to Elmo:

Her favourite books have evolved over time, and we are always getting new books out from the library to try out. She still doesn't like books with too complex of a storyline, but we are slowly getting into longer books.

Here are some of her first favourites from birth:

All pictures from online

 From top left clockwise:

1) The "teacher" from Brown Bear, Brown Bear - Molly says this is her Nanny, which always cracks us up
2) Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do you see? (Eric Carle) - great for learning colours and animals! We used to read this before bed, so we've probably read it about 500 times. All of Eric Carle's books are very visually appealing, and we love the Very Hungry Caterpillar too.
3) Baby Boo - Amazing baby series - has a page with a mirror and very small babies always seem to LOVE this book. Molly got it in the hospital through the Read to Me program in Nova Scotia
4) Goodnight, Moon (Margaret Wise Brown) - a classic bedtime book and I'd say we've read this to her over 1000 times in her lifetime...so yes, we both know it by heart ;)

 From top left clockwise:

5) Jane's Animal Expedition (Baby Einstein book) - Molly LOVED the flaps on this book, and it is almost completely worn out because she loved to read it so much. A great book for learning animals :)
6) Where is the Green Sheep? (Mem Fox) - a newer addition to our collection, this is a good book for learning opposites, and it is funny for toddlers too because the sheep are all doing funny things
7) 101 First Words at Home - Great for learning new words - we like these books because Molly can look through them herself
8) Pajama Time (Sandra Boynton) - We love Sandra Boynton books, even if they can be a bit silly! This one has a great rhythm and great for bedtime
9) Barnyard Dance (Sandra Boynton) - Molly loves this one too and laughs at all of the animals dancing
10) 101 First Words - Animals - there are some animals in here that I didn't really know very well...but Molly loves it!

 From top left clockwise:

11) Baby's Lullaby (Jill Barber) - Jill Barber is a local musician who wrote a song that accompanies this book. We got it from the library a few weeks ago and we have now learned the song and sing it before bed. You can hear the song HERE.
12) Gossie/Gosling books (Oliver Dunrea) - we have a collection of these gosling books which are SO CUTE...Molly can read them to us now and she loves them. Look at the cute little goslings! I just love them.
13) Wheels on the Bus - a classic song (Raffi!!!) and one of Molly's favourite songs of all time
14) On the Night You were Born  (Nancy Tillman) - We used to read this every night before bed, and just got back into it. It is a really cute story about how special each and every person is.
15) Sesame Street board books - these tiny little books are great for little hands
16) Where is my Frog? (Mercer Mayer) - Another favourite lift-the-flap book...Mercer Mayer's "Little Critter" books are very funny and worth checking out!

Here are a few articles about reading to your children:

• From the Read to Me program site (And another link from the same site)
• From Parents.com - an age guide for reading
• From the Australian Raising Children site
• From a different Read to me program
• From Sheknows.com

We love reading to Molly, and I am so happy to see how much she enjoys it. At a younger age, she didn't enjoy it quite as much as she does now, but I think that moving forward, she will only like it more and more. It's great for infant and toddler development, and it is a fun way to bond with your child. I can't wait until she gets a bit older, because I have a few books from my early childhood that I loved and she is still a bit too young to understand them. It will also be fun to watch her tackle her first chapter book someday (but not *too* soon, I want to keep my baby around for awhile!!)

Hope you got a few ideas for baby shower gifts or for your own baby or toddler!!!

What were some of your favourite books as a child?!

Dear Molly...

When I was pregnant with Molly, I kept a journal and wrote her a few little letters about how I was feeling and some of the milestones of being pregnant with her (e.g. "I felt you kick today for the first time!" and "I'm in labour with you and it hurts but will be worth it!"). This time around, unfortunately, I haven't had the same diligence in writing about pregnancy milestones, but I have tried to keep track of a few important ones.

Today, I'm turning the tables a bit and writing a letter to Molly as she embarks on her journey of becoming a sibling. I want her to be able to read this someday and know how excited we have been to grow our family, but I also want her to know how remarkably special she is.

*** It is ironic that I had this lovey-dovey post drafted for today, because this child was driving us craaaaazy crying and screaming this morning. She is cutting her last two 2 year molars and she is not always a happy camper these days, so as I was re-reading this, I felt the love again :) ***

Dear Molly,

As I'm writing this letter, you have been on the earth for 2 years, 5 months and 6 days, and you have already made your mark on many lives. When we first found out that we were having you, I honestly had no idea how much you would be loved by so many people. When your grandma met you for the first time, she wanted to call all the newspapers in the world to announce that the world's most beautiful baby had been born. Nurses and doctors in the hospital commented on your beautiful features and mussed up hair. One of the things we love the most about you is your true beauty both inside and out.

I was determined to give you the best that we could offer, which included my intense desire to exclusively breastfeed you as long as possible. That was an uphill challenge, but it was so worth it because I bonded with you in a way that I will never forget. Your dad and I went through a lot of ups and downs in the first months of your birth because he lost his job when you were born. However, we now look back on those days with fond memories because he got to spend 4 months at home with you and me, and he was so lucky to get to know you in your early days. Once you started filling your belly, you were a happy and curious baby, and we loved (and still do love) watching you grow.

At your current age, you laugh more than you cry (most times), and you talk more than you might listen, but you are so smart, and so inquisitive, and you are constantly learning. We love to watch you play, and we love to teach you new things about the world. Each day is exciting with you.

Even before you were born, we knew that we wanted to one day give you the gift of a sibling, but we didn't know when. After we moved into our house, we knew it would be sometime soon because we want you to grow up close to your brother or sister like your dad and I did with your aunts and uncles. We can't wait to watch you become a big sister, and we know you are going to love it. We love watching the way that you carry for all of your dolls and animals by feeding them, rocking them to sleep, singing to them, and telling them stories. You are a very caring girl, and it makes us so happy to see your compassion for other people and even inanimate objects. ;)

I want you to know that the love we have for the new baby will never overshadow the love that we have for you. You have been nothing but a blessing to us, and we are so incredibly lucky to call ourselves your parents. I know that you are going to do remarkable things with your life, and I can't wait to see what the future has in store for you. I can't wait to watch you play with the new baby, and teach them everything you have learned about the world. I know it won't be easy all the time, but it will be worth it, and our little family is going to be oozing with more love than we know how to handle. :)

Be patient with us as we adapt to the new baby, and remember that you will always be our first baby and person who turned us into parents - a role that your dad and I both embraced with open arms. You are the light of our lives, and we love you more than ever.

Love, Mommy (and Daddy, who shares most of these sentiments but is not as sappy) :)

Preparing your toddler for the birth of a new sibling (Tuesday's Tot Talks)

After having Molly, Brian and I both knew that we wanted another baby someday, but we took our time to figure out when would be best. We were overjoyed when we found out that a new baby would be joining our family and we couldn’t wait to tell Molly. At age 2 ½ (almost), I don’t think she 100% understands the idea of a new person in the family, but she is a VERY adaptable child and we aren’t too worried about how she will do when the new baby comes. I know there will be some good days and bad days, and some adjusting for all of us, but Molly loves babies and loves to talk to the baby in my belly all the time. She truly (so far) seems excited about it…but I don’t think she fully understands the baby’s permanence in our lives ;)

My current "baby" ;)

There are moments when I wonder as a mother how I can love another child as much as I love Molly. As our first, she will always hold that special place in our hearts because we’ve loved her longest, but I know that the new baby will make our family so special and I can’t wait to give Molly the gift of a sibling (a relationship that I have benefited from having for most of my life.)

We have brainstormed a few things that we can do to ease this transition for ourselves and for Molly too, and I wanted to share these ideas because I know this is an event that many parents encounter at one point or another.

Here’s what we’ve been doing during my pregnancy to help Molly understand the changes that are coming:

1. I encourage her to touch my belly and feel the baby move
2. I encourage her to talk to the baby and “introduce” herself
3. We have told her about events going on this summer (such as a Raffi concert in June) that we will be going to with her without the baby, but we’ve also been talking about things that we will do with the baby once s/he is here 
4. Molly has a few "babies" of her own and she loves to care for them
5. We have a few books that we've read with her about being a big sibling and welcoming a new baby
6. We have pointed out other groups of siblings that we know

Here are some plans we have for when the baby comes:

1. Closer to my due date, we are going to take Molly out to pick out a present to give the new baby from herself. 
2. We are also going to be giving her a small present when I go into the hospital and she spends time with my in-laws
3. We have a couple of little “new” toys on hand for Molly for the weeks after the baby’s birth when the baby will be getting a lot of new presents from visitors
4. We plan to let Molly help with certain baby activities (I know she will LOVE this) such as bath time, picking out clothes for the baby to wear for the day, and reading the baby stories or singing to the baby

Additionally, I have heard that it can be a good idea (as the mother) to ensure that your husband is holding the new baby or that the new baby is in the bassinet in the hospital when your oldest comes in to see you for the first time (so you can focus all of your attention on your oldest child for a few minutes after possibly not seeing them for a day or two).

Having a dance party

We are fortunate in that Molly feels very close to a large number of different people – she is very close to my husband, to several of her friends, to my in-laws, my parents/siblings and a few extended family members. She will easily spend time with these people without clinging to me, and I know that she will be excited for all the visitors that we see after the baby’s birth (for instance, my mom is coming out for 2 weeks from Calgary and Molly is SO excited). I am so glad that we have helped Molly to nurture these relationships and spend time with other family members, because I think it will make it easier for her to adjust.

Our only other worry is that Molly’s sleep will be disturbed with the new baby waking up in the night. There is really nothing that we can do to prepare for this, and we are hopeful that the sleep disturbance will be minimal. The baby will be sleeping in our room for a few months, so hopefully Molly won’t hear him/her crying in the night too frequently.

Here are some other great posts and tips about this topic from A Cup of Jo, Dr. Greene, Pregnancy.org, Little Hearts Books, and Beauty Through Imperfection.

Tuesday's Tot Talks - Trying for a VBAC

Before I jump into today's Tuesday Tot Talks topic, I wanted to share that yesterday marked the anniversary of the coldest day ever in Canada which took place in Yukon in 1947. On Feb. 3, 1947 it was -63 in Shag, Yukon. I can't even IMAGINE that!! The Google doodle celebrated(?!) it yesterday. Brrrr.

Today I'm going to be talking about something that's a bit personal, but also (in my mind) important...and it's also something that is on my mind a lot these days being 8 weeks out from the approximate arrival of Baby # 2!!

36/37 weeks pregnant with Molly in 2011

3 years ago, When I was pregnant with Molly, one aspect that I always worried about a bit (like many other pregnant women) was the uncertainty of labour and delivery. It bothered me that I would have no idea how it could go, or how long it could take. There was never any guarantee that everything was going to be OK, even though I knew I had excellent care and a wonderful hospital. Even if I had made a detailed birth plan (which we really didn't), it could have still gone the way it did. I hated not knowing exactly when I'd go into labour, and how I would react to the pain, and how everything would progress. For someone who likes to plan ahead a bit, this aspect of childbirth was a bit intimidating and almost frustrating (but also exciting! So many mixed emotions!)

As I mentioned in Molly's birth story, I had an unexpected emergency C-section in order for her to enter the world (after 44 hours of intense labour and being completely sick to my stomach). There was really no way around it, and I don't dwell on it or feel (very much) like I missed out on anything by not having a normal delivery. It just is what it is, and I am grateful each and every day that she and I both have our health.

However, this time around, I had to make a choice. Would I try to go into labour on my own, and try my best for a "normal delivery", or pre-book an elective c-section? I knew even before we got pregnant that I wanted to try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).

Here are my reasons:

1) Although I had a relatively quick recovery after Molly's birth, it was still not easy. If possible, I would like to avoid having major abdominal surgery again. This is primarily because, if I do have a repeat c-section, I will be unable to drive for 6 weeks, or do any heavy lifting or anything strenuous (like lift my 2 year old). When Molly was born, Brian was unexpectedly off for 4 months so I don' think I noticed these aspects of recovery as much as I would this time around.

2) I would like to spend less time in the hospital after the baby's birth. With Molly, we were there for a week, and I would like to be settled in at home with my toddler and new baby a bit sooner this time.

3) I would like for Brian to experience the baby's birth in a way that wasn't entirely possible with Molly, and I would like to experience it myself. I would like to be able to hold the baby immediately after s/he is born (truth be told, I was able to hold Molly pretty shortly after, but I was struggling with recovery and being assessed around the clock for my own health).

4) I want to be able to  get back into regular exercise soon after the baby's birth. It will be summer time, and I'd like to take advantage of the nice weather and work out in the backyard, etc. etc.

I am going into this knowing that there is a definite chance of a repeat c-section, and I am okay with that if it is the only option at the time. There's no point in stressing over it, but that doesn't mean that I am not going to try my best to be strong during labour and hope for a different outcome. Overall, the most important thing in all of this is having a healthy baby, and I know that if I have another c-section, I will still recover fine and be back on my feet soon afterwards. If I end up having a c-section with this birth, and we decide to have a third child someday, there will be no choice (you usually cannot try for a VBAC after 2 c-sections).

So far, I have had a very healthy pregnancy and the baby is in the right position for birth (although that could change). I have tried my best to remain active (and it helps to have an active toddler to chase around!) and maintain my own health. My doctor says that there is no reason why I cannot try for a normal delivery, and she herself has experienced many VBACs with women who have a similar background to mine. Knowing all of this gives me hope that it can happen.

I want to mention that I'm not writing this in judgment of anyone who might decide to go the route of an elective c-section, because, as I said, the baby's health is the most important thing, and it is a very personal choice. I also know that many women experience a successful VBAC after consulting with a midwife and having a completely natural birth, but this isn't part of my own plan for various reasons.

In case anyone else is in a similar situation, here are some resources I have turned to in order to best prepare myself for this labour and delivery (believe me, there is TONS of information out there!):

• The Facts on VBACs (I understand the worry of added risks to the mother i.e. uterine rupture, and this explained it well)
• Childbirth Connection
• Ontario Midwives Association

Have you ever been in this situation? Any labour advice for me? :) 

Tomorrow I'm linking up with Haley at Truth be Told for her first link-up and it's a good one! It's called "I love him, but...." and it will be about something that your significant other does that makes you a little bit crazy. Haha. I love it! Check it out if you can think of anything that yours does that drives you crazy (and I'm sure you can think of at least one thing, all in good fun!)

Potty Training Tips (Tuesday Tot Talks)

Unrelated but adorable picture:

Disclaimer: If you don't want to read a lot about pee, this post probably isn't for you.

I'm actually sure this post will only appeal to a small number of people who are actually LOOKING for advice on potty training, but I wanted to write about our experience so that I can remember it the next time around and because it worked SO WELL for us that it feels like I'm keeping a secret if I don't at least share my tips.

I should also mention at this time that Molly is about 95% potty trained and only wears a diaper overnight (and if she naps at the babysitter's house). She wakes up occasionally in the morning with a dry diaper, but not frequently enough for us to venture into night-time training yet. We are thinking we will night-train her when we have the new baby, since I will be getting up in the night anyway, and if she needs to get up to pee in the middle of the night, it won't be as disruptive as it would be now. She is 2 years 4 months old, and we trained her the week she turned 2.

Here are some questions I researched before we trained her and my own answers:

How do I know if my toddler is ready to be toilet trained?

I think we were lucky in this regard, because some of the other little kids at Molly's in-home daycare were training right before she did, and she became a bit fascinated with the concept. She would ask to use the toilet, and we let her. One day, we just decided to give it a go with her and we went and bought this potty and 2 seats for the toilets as well. In my opinion, it will help if your child can talk/communicate with you, but that's also probably unique to each situation. I've heard that girls are easier to train than boys, but I don't really have any experience other than with my girl :)

What is the best method for training?

This will be unique to each parent and child, but I'll tell you what worked for us. We committed to staying home for about 2-3 days (overall - this doesn't mean I didn't leave the house at all) and I asked her about every 10-15 minutes if she had to use the potty. She went around with underwear on or naked in the house for the 2 days and if we went to the backyard, the potty came with us. I'm not going to lie and say this part was easy, because we had A LOT of accidents in those few days, but she started to get the hang of it by the end and went longer stretches without using the potty or having an accident. In some ways, we kind of followed the 3 day method which is HERE, but we stretched it out. For about a week or two after this, we would put a diaper on her when we went out to run errands, but eventually she became able to tell us when she had to use the washroom and we could rush her to a toilet ASAP while she held it.

How long can you expect accidents?

Molly still had the occasional accident for several weeks after we started training her. It took her a LONG time to be able to #2 on the potty/toilet too, and this was a major issue (but apparently normal). She has had a sporadic accident once or twice in the past month if she is extremely distracted, because we don't periodically ask her if she needs to use the bathroom anymore (she just tells us).

Rewards?





I should also mention that we rewarded her with treats for the first week or so. 1 Skittle or 1 M&M or 1 mini marshmallow for using the potty, and 2 if it was a #2 on the potty.

I'll update this post once we train Molly at night too with any tips we might have for that component of training. I know a lot of people do it all at once, but we just weren't quite ready yet (and Molly was not in a single bed until closer to Christmas so she was still in a crib when we trained her).

Being present. - Tuesday's tot talks

Now that Molly is a fully aware 2 year old, she can be very cognizant of us being on our phones while she is either wanting help with something or wanting to play at home. I have made a conscious effort to stay off my cell phone when I'm at home with her unless it is either a) very important that I check something or make a call etc. or b) a time when she is enjoying an activity on her own and I want to take a second to check it. She is very keenly aware of technology for her age, which is something that my generation (saying that makes me feel OLD) never really experienced. For instance, she knows that she can play games on a cell phone or tablet, watch videos on a phone or tablet or computer, and she knows all about taking pictures on a phone, looking at pictures (swyping through them, even!) and she loves using Skype (we talk to my family via Skype at least once a week).

At the beach last spring

At times, it can be hard to be fully present with her at home because it is my time away from work too, and sometimes I want a little bit of "me-time" or "down-time". Our time at home is also busy with cooking, cleaning, housework and other things that need to get done. Brian and I are trying to encourage Molly to play independently at times, which doesn't mean that we leave her alone or anything, but that we step back and let her explore her toys on her own without constantly relying on us for help or entertainment. While we want to encourage her independence, we also want her to communicate with us and we want her to know that she is important and special to us. The times when I consciously try to sit and talk to her about what she is doing or play with her, I always find myself feeling very happy because she is SO happy to be spending time with me. There is happiness in simple activities with her. Our time together is so precious when it is only a couple of hours on weekdays and all day on weekends. I want to cherish it and soak it all up. I am especially mindful of it lately because I know my time with her will be a bit stretched when the new baby arrives in April, and I want to implicitly reassure her that she is loved beyond measure.

Doing puzzles at home 

Molly Likes to Help
In the past 6 months or so, I have embraced the fact that Molly often wants to help me with whatever I am doing. Therefore, if I am washing dishes and she wants to help by standing on a chair next to me, I usually let her even though it's messier and it takes longer. She also loves to help with laundry...putting it in the washer, sorting it and putting it away. She likes to help unload the dishwasher (although this requires very alert supervision, haha!). Basically, what I have come to realize is that sometimes she just wants to do what I (or Brian) am doing, and I'm definitely fine with that. I read something once about building confidence in toddlers by letting them help. By letting them help you with something, they learn that they are capable, and they learn that they are can be valuable. They also learn new skills, as long as they are supervised well :)

Being Present with your child helps their development
When you are playing with your child or letting them help you with something, they learn new words, new skills, and boundaries. For instance, Molly has recently learned the phrase "don't do that again" when she does something that we would prefer for her not to do (like remove her diaper herself in the middle of the night and pee in bed - a story for another day). She remembers in the future that certain things are dangerous (she learned a long time ago to stay away from the oven) and certain things are for adults only.

These moments will not last forever
People are constantly telling us parents that you can blink and your child will be a teenager. I find this to be particularly true when you are not with your child all the time - for instance, if you are a working mother (although I'm sure it's true for all parents). Every day is a new day with a new development for children, and I, for one, don't want to miss out on anything even if I might not remember it clearly in a year. :)

Molly and her minion

I know that a lot of what I've said is old news for everyone, because the idea of "being present" is such a trend these days and people are always considering it to be a resolution or something to strive for - but I think that's great. I think being aware of the amount of time we spend on technology at home is IMPORTANT. It's also important to cherish those moments with a young one, because they grow so quickly that you won't always get the moments back later.

What do you think about it? Is there a line between giving a toddler TOO much attention and making them feel cherished? (I think there definitely is - and independence is important too!)

14 days into 2014 - Toddler Speech Development (Tuesday Tot Talk)

Happy Tuesday, everyone! The proclaimed “worst day of the week”! I actually usually find Mondays a bit more challenging, but today it was tough getting out the door. Molly is daytime potty-trained and has been for a few months now, but we still put a diaper on at night…except for last night when we forgot to. That resulted in some quick laundry this morning before work! Oops!!! Mommy fail last night!

I started a series talking about kid stuff on Tuesdays, and I’m hoping to resume that now in the new year. I call it “Tuesday Tot Talks” and I’ll try to keep most kiddie talk to Tuesdays on my blog. Today, I want to talk about helping your child learn to talk.

Molly was a late talker, so much so that we requested a speech and hearing assessment at 18 months when she was only speaking a few syllables. We were on a waiting list for months, during which time she improved dramatically, and we finally met with the speech pathologist right before Christmas.  The assessment went well, and she scored well with some suggestions for improving a few syllables. I have been working with her on the suggestions and she has been talking up a storm for the past month or so.

Here are some tips I’ve learned that you can implement to help your toddler learn to speak:

1. Engage them in conversation. Ask questions and wait for them to answer, even if they don’t answer correctly.
2. Make easy corrections in conversation. For instance, Molly always says “go” instead of “no”, but we know she is saying no because of her tone (she also says “go” for “go”). Simply correcting her by saying, “do you mean, ‘no’?” can help her to realize that she is saying the word a bit incorrectly. 
3. Ask your child to repeat after you. We do this all the time with Molly, especially if she is saying a word incorrectly or you are trying to introduce a new word or phrase. She is usually more than happy to oblige. For instance, we are trying to teach her “please” and “thank you” so we encourage her to say these when someone helps her with something or gives her something.
4. Do not respond with the incorrect word. By this, I mean, if she says “downgoes” instead of “downstairs” (which she does), YOU, as the adult, should still always be saying downstairs. My husband sometimes mimics what she is saying so that he can communicate with her, but this just reinforces the incorrect speech pattern.
5. Be patient if the child is trying to say something, but you can’t decipher it. A few times, Molly has been adamantly saying words to us that we simply cannot understand, and it really frustrates her. A week ago, she was trying to say that she wanted to have a dance party downstairs before supper (which we often do after work). She was saying “da goey” which was confusing to Brian and me, and she just kept saying it and pointing until one of us clued in, but she was getting a bit upset. It happens frequently, but it will get better, and she is trying really hard to communicate, which is a positive thing.
6. Facial expressions and tone can help you to understand what your child is saying, too. See below...Molly is saying "I don't want to be Molly Potter, Mommy!" haha.

One thing we are really working on with Molly these days is helping her to fix some of the words that she has gotten into the habit of saying incorrectly (i.e. go instead of no)...we know she can say the "n" syllable, but she is in the habit of saying it the wrong way. Eventually, I am confident that she will be fine, though.

Last night, she came down from her bath looking for her "buggles" (puzzles). Brian thought she was looking for a bagel...which she has never eaten...it was pretty funny actually.

Here are some other links on this topic:
Toddler talk
10 ways to get toddlers to talk
Tips to get toddlers talking

Hope everyone has a great day! Tomorrow I have a book review of the Divergent series on the blog :)

The Little Prince - Tuesday's Tot Talks (2)

“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.” 
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Canada celebrated the arrival of the new prince by lighting up the CN Tower (Toronto) and the Peace Tower (Parliament Hill, Ottawa) as well as Niagara Falls last night. 

(Photos Niagara Parks/Governor General of Canada/The Canadian Press)

Congratulations to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge on the arrival of Britain's newest little prince. I have to admit, I never really understood the hype around this young couple (especially around their wedding), but then I sat down the night of their wedding (when I was pregnant) and watched the entire ceremony online, and cried and smiled and felt really excited. It is kind of like a real-life Disney story or something. Haha. Anyway, since then, I have been a fan of the young royal couple and very excited to hear about the birth of the new prince yesterday. I can't wait to hear his name - a lot of people are guessing James, which I think would be really nice!! 

Today seems like a fitting time (in some ways) for me to tell the story of breastfeeding Molly. A lot of people are wondering whether the Duchess will breastfeed the new baby and I know advocates are hoping that she does because it sets a great example for those on the fence about breastfeeding. In some ways, breastfeeding is a very private and personal decision...but in other ways, it is difficult to ignore the health benefits for your baby. When I first found out we were having Molly, I was 100% determined to breastfeed her as long as I possibly could (my goal was at least 6 months and preferably 9). After her birth, she did not feed well in the hospital. My milk did not come in for a few days, and she rapidly lost weight. The doctors were worried about her, so we even stayed an extra day in the hospital (she was born on a Monday and we left on Friday - sigh). I pumped in the hospital, and she breastfed and then had the bottle I had pumped (very little milk). 

When my supply came in, she did a bit better, but she liked to sleep a lot and did not gain back enough weight in those first few weeks. We had a routine where she would breastfeed, and then get topped up with a bottle of breast milk. I had to wake her up every 2 hours in the night to feed for about a month. On average, it took her about 40 minutes to feed, and she would fall asleep during it, so I had to tickle her toes and keep her in her diaper. Only to start again in about an hour and a half. It was exhausting for awhile. We consulted lactation consultants, used a nipple shield, and tried everything but she was growing slowly and always very hungry. Finally, at about 2-3 months of age, we took her to a tongue tie specialist in Halifax who snipped a bit of an anterior tongue tie and Molly flourished (mostly) after this. The whole time, I was also taking Domperidone (which is a) not recommended anymore by Health Canada, b) led me to be CONSTANTLY hungry and thus gain weight) and still pumping as often as possible. It was not easy, but by about 3-4 months, it was much easier. I could breastfeed her in public without too much concern, she was getting full, and she was generally happy. We continued this until she was 8 1/2 months old when she weaned herself and had formula for several months and then whole milk. 

Overall, I learned a lot from my experience with breastfeeding. I truly expected it to be an easy and natural experience, and it was not. It is difficult to teach a newborn how to latch properly, and difficult to know whether you are making enough milk for them, whether they are getting enough fatty hind milk, and whether they are satisfied. Although it was challenging, I am grateful that I had the opportunity to give this to Molly for as long as I did and I look forward to experiencing this with another child in the future. 

Advice that I would give to first-time mothers who want to breastfeed:
1) Don't be afraid to ask for help. Lactation consultants are SOOOO helpful and I would not have been able to do this without them (including my own wonderful aunt who provided insight via Skype from New Zealand)
2) Don't give up (if this is something you want). Seek help. Talk to other mothers and doctors. For the first two(ish) months, it will seem like you are constantly feeding your baby. After about 3-4 months, it is much less frequently, feeds take less time, and it will get easier.
3) Use a breastfeeding pillow. I also had a breastfeeding cover that I used in public, because it made me feel more comfortable and it helped Molly to avoid distractions when she got a bit older.
4) Rely on your partner for support. Brian brought me a glass of water almost every time I fed Molly for the first little bit and he was endlessly supportive. This was paramount to our success with breastfeeding.
5) Seek help online as well. Kelly Mom and Dr. Jack Newman are both helpful sites.

I'll be back tomorrow with a recipe and some other fun things!! 

Tuesday's Tot Talks (1) Molly's Birth Story

Like many first-time moms, I spent a lot of time worrying about labour and delivery as I neared the end of my pregnancy. I remember someone telling me that the worst that could happen was a c-section, so if I prepared myself for that possibility, I would not feel disappointed if things went that way. In the end, I did have an emergency c-section and labour was nowhere near as "easy" as my pregnancy had been...but it was definitely worth it!! Now, almost 2 years later, there are parts of all of it that I don't even remember!! haha. Here's me with Brian looking super pregnant around 37 weeks:

Here's a timeline of events in Molly's birth.

Sept 1, 2011 - Last day of work. Starting to feel really tired these past few weeks, and finding it difficult not to nap as soon as I got home. Went to bed at around 8pm and tossed and turned most nights. Relieved to be finished with work.

Sept long weekend - Went to our good friends' house for their daughter's 1st birthday.Went to my aunt's house to celebrate our family's September birthdays. Kept on trucking. Feeling excited and a bit nervous.

First week of September - I cleaned the apartment from stem to stern. Washed floors by hand. Went for some walks around the neigbourhood. Read, slept, relaxed.

Sept 9, 2011 (Friday) - (2-3 days overdue at this point) ordered chinese food for supper. Spicy food  = labour, right?!! Woke up unable to sleep around 3 am and cried my heart out...haha. Started having contractions at 5:15 am, woke up in pain.

Sept 10, 2011 (Saturday) - We timed my contractions using an iPhone app and went into the IWK hospital around 9 am to check on labour. We were told to go home as I was only 2cm dilated, and to come back in later if the contractions worsened. We went home, went for lunch at a nearby pub, and I had contractions about every 5-10 mins (I think?), and went for a walk around the neighbourhood. Nothing else was happening. We had a yummy supper with the in-laws at our apartment, but I soon got violently sick to my stomach. I could not stop vomiting, so we went back to the hospital around 9 pm. They admitted me overnight with a gravol drip IV for the nausea. We both "slept" in the birthing unit that night, and contractions were not increasing in frequency or duration overnight.

Sept 11, 2011 (Sunday) - We woke up after sleeping a bit on and off all night and I was still very sick to my stomach. Tried to walk around hospital and advance labour or we were going to get sent home again. I had a bath, walked outside, walked inside, puked, etc. I honestly could not keep anything down. This went on all day without much advancement. They broke my water around 3 pm in the hopes of advancing labour. I finally decided that I needed the epidural around 9 pm when I was in incredible pain and too weak to walk much further. I had advanced to about 5-6 cm at this point. I was being constantly monitored by nurses and they were also checking on the baby a lot. At about midnight, the doctor checked on me again with the baby fetal heart rate wire thing (hmm, actual term?) and announced that, unfortunately, I would need a c-section. The baby was in distress and the heart rate was not good. I was upset, confused and disappointed, but it happened so fast that I did not have the time or energy to process it all. I did not really have a choice in the matter either. I signed a consent, Brian changed into scrubs and we went to the OR immediately.

Sept 12, 2011 (Monday) - Molly Irene was born at 12:45 am on Monday, September 12 via emergency c-section. Our anesthesiologist was amazing and talked me through the entire surgery. I was also grateful for my amazing husband (fiance at the time ;)). He held my hands during the surgery and held Molly for the first 3 hours (ish) of her life while I was in the recovery room shaking from all of the drugs. It was emotional, and it was a painful recovery but it was worth it. She was 8lbs and 13 oz at birth and 21 ¾ inches long. She was perfect, and she was all ours.

After Molly's first night on the outside of the womb

"Going home from the hospital" outfit

First nap at home in her bassinet at home

Showing us her big brown eyes at about 1 week old

Next week, I'm going to talk about our adventures with breastfeeding!!!