Danielle at Sometimes Sweet is hosting a link-up of sorts this week with a journal prompt. I found this prompt very interesting, and it is a topic that is on my mind constantly, so I decided to post about it today and link up with her HERE tomorrow when her post goes up.
Here's the prompt:
Everyone has a time in their life they view as a crossroad.
Sometimes you can see it as it's happening, and you're able to choose one way
or another. Other times you may not realize you're there until you look back,
and see what a turning point it really was. This week, write about a time you
view as a marker in your life; a distinct place where things changed, for
better or worse.
I think that I have encountered two very distinct crossroads in my
life that led me to where I am right now (albeit many other decisions/turning
points).
The first of these was when I felt a strong pull to move to Nova
Scotia to attend university at St. FX.
I had a high school guidance counselor
who basically told anyone who’d listen that St. FX was the best university in
the country, and that anyone who went there would agree (I have since found
this not to be completely true- while I *LOVED* my time there, a few
people did drop out or move away and
not love it). I took a year of undergrad in Calgary at a small university
college, which was great in many ways, and the courses that I took there were
among the most interesting in my entire education. When I came to St. FX, I was
a second year student, but I was new. It took me quite awhile to feel like I
fit in, and I learned a lot about myself and who I wanted to become.
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| (Via St. FX website - beautiful, isn't it!) |
It was
also at St. FX that I decided to pursue Psychology as my major, which in turn should have led me to an outstanding
career by now (lol, kidding). Had I stayed in Calgary for university, I wouldn't have gotten to know my grandmother as a second mother. I wouldn't have
made close friendships with some of my cousins and aunts and uncles. I wouldn't have met many of my current friends, and I
probably wouldn't have moved to Halifax to start my life post-undergrad. I wouldn't have developed a passion for east-coast music or the Nova Scotia
culture. I wouldn't have met Brian.
Arguably, I could still be living a happy and successful life had I not moved out east. There is nothing wrong with Calgary, and I love it because it's my hometown. However, since moving out east, I have found that the pace of life and the size of Halifax are much more in tune with what I want out of life. It's hard not to feel happy walking down the waterfront in the summer, or listening to the ocean at Peggy's Cove. Although there are things (and people) I miss since moving here, I can't even imagine what I would have missed out on if I'd stayed at home for university.
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| ("My hometown" that will always hold a place in my heart) |
This brings me to my second major crossroad, which I have discussed before (here). Meeting Brian changed
my life, because our relationship was my first serious one, and it kind of came
out of the blue in some ways. (You can read more about how we met here).
However, the crossroad I’m talking about came after we’d been dating for 9-10
months and unexpectedly found out that I was pregnant (with Molly). This
situation could have played out in more than one way, but we were fully in
love, old enough and sure enough to commit to becoming a family and raising our
daughter together. There are many times when I almost lament that we didn't have the same time as a “family of 2”
before becoming a family of 3, but I never, ever regret bringing our beautiful
daughter into the world.
This time in my life (pregnancy/motherhood) was a crossroad because
I did, understandably, drift away from some friends. Some friends had no idea how to relate to
me anymore and could not accept the changes happening in my life. I was also fortunate to make new friends. Mommy friends. I also grew closer to my
family, and to Brian’s family, who have been nothing but supportive of us since
the day we found out about Molly. I don’t ever for a second regret the turning
point that led me to this path in life. Even though it may not always be the
life I’d imagined, in many ways, it has surpassed some of my hopes and dreams I’d
had for my future.
One of my close friends from university moved to Korea to teach English for 2 years in September 2009, just as I was finishing my Master's in Halifax. In March 2010, I met Brian. By the time my friend came back at Christmas in 2011, I was engaged to someone she'd never met and we were embracing life with a newborn. She had known that things would be different with me, but it was a huge shock to her (not in a bad way, but it took awhile for us to relate to one another the same way again). Sometimes life events change you, and I think this was the case with me. I was still essentially the same person, but my priorities had shifted, and I had a little person's life in my hands.
I'm happy that these crossroads happened, and I'm content with the decisions that I made at turning points. I think there are turning points in our lives all the time. I often struggle with the "what if" aspect of making a decision. For instance, if I hadn't taken a certain job, would I be where I am now? If I had done such-and-such differently, would life be different now? It can be enough to drive me crazy, so I think it's better to just accept that life will always throw curveballs at us, and it is best to move forward with the support of those around us. I have to admit that I don't really agree with the phrase "Live life with no regrets", because I think that you can learn from regrets and move on. That being said, I think that dwelling on the past and dwelling on things that you regret can be a bit of a waste of time. If it's something that you regret and you can change, then change it! My lovely husband says that we always have two choices in any situation: You can accept it, or you can change it. (Isn't he wise? haha).
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| Peggy's Cove, NS |
What crossroads have you encountered that changed your life? Do you regret them, or do you embrace them?
